for the girls who hate structures
do we have to wake up by 6, drink coffee by 6:30, and go to the gym by 7?
today’s piece on noa: [culture & trends] ~ [an essay on the cultural expectations of our daily routines and how I mentally oppose to it]
ps: my fingers couldn’t wait until my regular friday post schedule, so here goes a new essay.
Do we all love the idea of being time-mapped throughout our days, or do we actually fancy being a bit soft on our schedule?
here’s what i mean
The obsession with the right way to live and work is built on a lie (at least to an extent).
You read stuff like;
“Wake up before 6 in the morning to get the most out of your day.”
“Time-block your entire day the night before.”
Is that even real? When I read things like these, I sort of roll my eyes. Personally, I’ve always struggled with following stiff schedules. Especially self-inflicted ones, like the above tweet.
I follow through with it for a few days, my brain starts to get the signal of being boxed and instead of adjusting to it, it fights it. Which could look like me finding it really difficult to have a happy day, because I can’t move past an overly planned array of schedules.
Now, I imagine there are a lot more people who fall into this spectrum like me. We are meticulous and great at what we do, however, don’t tell us the exact time or hour to get it done. If you do, guess what? You have just proven that you can cause serious harm to us, no matter the severity of your actions.
what’s my ideal way of doing stuffs
My ideal way of doing things is in free form — like an artist letting their hands move at the sway of each brush stroke. That’s always me. Although, I’d often beat myself at my inability to follow things as perfectly planned as society sells it — because low-key it feels like I’m the odd one out. Am I?
I’m a sucker for organisation until the organising itself becomes a structure; a rule to follow and then my brain rebels. Knowing this about me means knowing when to draw the line. When I overly make things rigid, it conflicts with my flexibility. I love free form, I’d rather write a list of things to do in a week and trust my brain to pick each one at its convenience — when it’s able, when it matters, when the timing feels right.
My lack of a rigid structure doesn’t eat into my productivity at all. It’s just me being productive in a different way. Most times, when it feels impossible to finish a task, I tell myself to calm down. And over time, after multiple anxieties or fear of being a procrastinator, I’ve learnt something: I work in three ways.
Free form (my ideal way): letting my brain pick the task at the right time, not at a structural must-do timing (except for tight work deadlines).
Pressure: the deadline is closing in, something has to give way, and suddenly I move. It’s not my preferred method, but it works sometimes.
Mood form: trusting myself enough to know I’ll finish something as long as it matters. As long as it’s important to me.
Some days, none of these work. Those are the days when I’m just not ready. And I’ve learned to accept that too. What I’ve realised is, the way culture paints lifestyle habits isn't always realistic. It assumes everyone’s brain works the same way. It doesn’t.
We’re sold this idea that if you follow the system: the right planner, the right routine, the right discipline, everything will fall into place. Some of us don’t work that way and that’s not a flaw, that’s just how we’re built. The goal here is to know yourself well enough to work with how you actually function, not against it. Some people thrive with proper planning while some people thrive without any. Most of us are somewhere in between, and we spend way too much time trying to be something we’re not.
Yes, the planners are great to have. The time blocks and timers work well also but if you still don’t get as much work done with all that — then maybe it’s time to actually understand your most productive moments and the steps it took you to get there.
That tells you, when best you can fulfil your work tasks and how much planning needs to go into what you do. Light and minimal plans work for me. For you, it might be sticky notes pasted in tactical places to propel you. And for another, it might be the use of reminders, time blocks and other essential tools. The aim is to find your mode before spiralling over being lazy or being a time slacker.
From my routines, time has taught me not to overly plan or make things super perfect. Some things are better when they flow freely instead of being bound by times or seasons. And that’s not laziness. That’s just knowing how you work.
Are you the rigid type of planner, a light and loose planner like me or are you more of an " anyhow it comes " type? Would love to know your thoughts.
I’ve had to learn to accept I can’t do the overly planned rigid schedule. I used to shame myself about it, but then I realized there isn’t a right or wrong way to have your day. Freedom is letting every day be a little different! Totally relate to this post.
oh Dami, I enjoyed reading today's essay. It was just flowing like smooth amala. I was just nodding the whole way down.
my routine is either overtly productive or can't be bothered.
somedays i work like there's fire on my butt, other days, I do what i can (and what i must).
plus, i've never been a fan of the 5 am club, but if there's such a thing as 5 pm club?! count me in!